


Awakening

by hana_ginkawa



Series: 30 Shards - Sesshoumaru and Kagome [4]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-27
Updated: 2005-05-27
Packaged: 2019-10-13 00:18:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17477693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hana_ginkawa/pseuds/hana_ginkawa
Summary: This is a series of short stories, drabbles and so on and so forth that were written for the LiveJournal community 30shards. They are all apart of a single story for the most part that I will put together in the future. It is KagomeSesshoumaru centric.





	Awakening

**Shard #13 Rain**

**Title:** Awakening

 **Pairing:** Sesshoumaru/Kagome

 **Rating:** PG

 **Squicks:** None

 **Summary:** It is after the final battle, Kagome has a revelation.

* * *

She could have gone home. Especially after the whole entire two-year fiasco ended the way it did. Yet if she went home, would that mean it was all at an end? As much as the call of returning to a life where demons weren't constantly after her for the jewel that now resided back within her body was appealing, she never felt _at home_ any more. That world had become a stranger to her as much as this one still was. In the end, she had nowhere to go. Except for something that she did not want to think about right now, as it would require her to actually _think_ about the ramifications of her actions. No. She was in a state of middle ground at this point and that is where she wanted to stay for the moment.

She shivered at the cold and tried to draw into herself even more, tucking her arms between her vertically folded legs and her body. The rain was already pounding down around her as she sat somewhat sheltered by Goshinboku. Although a drop or two would splat upon her head once in a while.

She knew that this situation was her own fault, but she didn't want to go inside just yet. Though it was freezing, the rain had a soothing sound to it as it fell onto the leaves and brought life in its elegant simplicity. Funny that she should be caring about something like nature after what she had been through, but she found she could not think of anything else, for it hurt far worse than she wanted to admit. Going inside meant she had to face it. Going inside meant living with it. And honestly, she was perfectly happy here in the rain. Until a voice intruded upon her little sanctuary, threatening to make real a torment already too real to think of.

"Kagome, come here."

It was him. The youkai lord Sesshoumaru. His deep regal voice made her look at him, her thoughts momentarily falling to the ground as she met those golden eyes that were so strange and so painfully familiar. So like the eyes that had stared at her with regret before they had disappeared forever.

"You will get ill. We will return to the house now."

She glared at him before realizing a moment later that his manner was just how he was. He was a feudal lord, unused to being disobeyed. His very word was law and expected it to be obeyed. But she wasn't his vassal and she didn't want to go in yet. Maybe never. Maybe the ground of its own accord would take her as well.

"You can go." She settled her cheek on her knees, facing away from him. "But I'm going to stay here."

"Why?"

She had to give him credit for not pulling the lord stuff with her, or even being angry at her impertinence. But then he hardly seemed to be angry or imperious with anyone these days, the voice he used now gentle and regal, when she remembered that he used to speak with such disdain and arrogance before.

All anger, all cruelty, all hatred had seemed to disappear the day Naraku was destroyed and Inuyasha died – Kagome winced at that thought. Sorrow took its place among the searchers of the Shikon no Tama and for the Lord, a strange sort of peace that was tinged with pity, or maybe just sympathy. As for the rest of the world, it seemed to have taken a deep sigh in relief after that day. Only now did it cry in what seemed a saddened joy.

Well, joy at least. She was perhaps adding her own sadness to the weather. Never the less, it was comforting that the world could cry the tears she somehow could not. So she told the youkai lord this, as he deserved to know, seeing has he had become her protector during and since the battle. Ever since that day her world collapsed about her and he caught her before her knees had hit the ground. Since Inuyasha and Kikyou . . .

"Because it is comforting to have the world cry, when I cannot."

The ever present, ever silent lord did not answer her, but then she really didn't expect him to do anything but keep watch over her as he usually did. Would he watch her when she had disappeared into the ground as well? She felt sure that she could just melt into the soil. Away from the pain . . . into the cool, dark embrace of the earth.

His approach was silent and he felt the girl's surprise at his touch, but he grasped her about the waist and pulled her gently into his lap as he sat at the base of her tree. She had frozen stiff at this change of venue but he ignored her reaction and brought her close to his chest, wrapping his arms about her, his long silken sleeves screening her body from the cold. This strange urge to comfort had begun a while ago, when he had first joined the group. The others had kept him at an arm's length, always watching him. She had trusted him sooner. It seemed that she forgave one's past quicker than the others had. Not that he had anything that needed forgiveness.

He would let her have her desire today, with this one compromise.

"Fine. We will stay."

She felt the rumble of his voice through his chest and a little shiver of her body chased its absence until he spoke again.

"As much as I am sure you would wish to die here, this Sesshoumaru knows that although that one is gone, there are others who would suffer an even worse grief with you gone as well."

Die? Did she truly wish that? _Yes,_ a voice whispered quietly in her mind She had not eaten in days, hadn't felt much of anything but the dulled pain she knew might kill her later. Better to leave it all behind. Better to find solace in death. This had been her unspoken, secret desire she dared not even think to herself.

The thought of the others had not even occurred, or that they might worry with her absence. Sango had Miroku, albeit wounded. Shippou had - no one. Oh. The little kit fox had already lost his surrogate brother, what would he do without her? Inuyasha had been their friend as well as hers. To think she only believed she hurt from this had been . . . selfish, unthinking.

"And this Sesshoumaru does not wish you to go that way as well."

She looked up at his face then, the elegant frozen masculinity that could take one's breath away hiding a fierce interior that bowed down to no one. Ferocious in all matters, even loyalty and friendship, when given such in return. That much she knew, for watching his interactions with Rin and Jaken had betrayed that truth. The coarse, but almost humorous way he treated Jaken when Jaken failed to do what he was supposed to do. The quiet caring hidden in toneless words when he spoke to Rin.

She didn't know what realization it was that broke the dam. Whether it was that Inuyasha was really and truly gone, that he had not been only her friend, and she was not alone in her grief. Or that cold, fierce, unbreakable, untouchable Sesshoumaru cared for her as well. That in the many months they had traveled together, she had given him something that he wanted to give in return.

In the end, it didn't matter. She could now release her grief. It was better to live with it than leave all those who she cared about behind. Grasping in her fists the front of his kimono, sure that this, that _he_ , might leave her as well, Kagome cried with the world, comforted now by the arms of a youkai as she held onto him in the waning twilight.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](http://taikodragon.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TaikoDragonjkf), [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/taikodragon) and [Dreamwidth](https://taikodragon.dreamwidth.org/).


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